J ABRAHAM
  • Home
  • Stories
  • Blog

My wife.

12/10/2017

2 Comments

 
Mary and I met at Target in 2008, a year after we had both moved to Minneapolis (she’s from the Iron Range and I’m from *ahem* Iowa). A year later, we began dating. I still remember one of the first times we hung out. I drank some fake Absinthe and ended up crying because I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. Oh yeah, in her bedroom. Still not quite sure why she didn’t just leave me high and dry back then.

I was a drunk. Thankfully I had the good sense to make the right decision. Haven’t had much taste for alcohol since.

For most of my life I didn’t know how to express or show emotion. Coming from a very cloistered, cultish and indoctrinating family I learned to substitute ritual and superficiality for actual feelings. This led to some early calamities. I almost broke up with her in New York City, for goodness sake. I was a moron, and wasn’t even aware of what I had.

Each time, I knew deep down inside that this woman was the one for me. I had to trust that instinct each time, and it always worked out for the best.

We moved in together in 2010, got married the next year. A small ceremony attended by a few members of each our families. Reception at Bunny’s in St. Louis Park.

Challenges since then. She has bipolar disorder. She chose to take her medication, feeling I was worth it. She helped me finally break free of the influence of my family. Helped me see my former job was making me miserable.

So many memories. The Law & Order weekend, and the food poisoning weekend. Going to dinner at that terrible Italian restaurant near 50th and France. Watching your reactions to certain movies, like in Ted when the bear starts getting ripped in half at the end. Seeing you struggle with that Kirby game, and with your addiction to cheese. And the heartbreak you’ve had in dealing with your (new) egg allergy. There are so many things with eggs in them! It’s not fair. You love our cats, Marble and Morrison with a passion I at first did not understand. That was until we had to say goodbye to Scout last year, and I realized I was really going to miss that feline.

Seeing you fully as a person who is special enough to contain such a wide range of emotional territory.

Mary’s birthday has been a challenge for me, as I’ve been pathetic at picking out gifts. Now I recognize it’s more in the spirit of what she means to me.

This marriage goes so far beyond that. She is the real gift.

She is an amazing, loving, caring woman who also happens to have a mental illness. I made the decision that the only way to handle it was to just love her unconditionally. No matter what.

Happy birthday, baby. I look forward to many years of happiness with you. I love you.​

(Long time readers may consider this a companion piece to a previous note I wrote to Mary four years ago.)
2 Comments
Karen
12/10/2017 03:37:20 pm

❤️❤️❤️

Reply
Cheri
12/10/2017 04:02:01 pm

Happy birthday Mary!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    John Abraham is a published author and freelance journalist who lives in the Twin Cities with his wife Mary and their cat. He is writing a speculative dystopian novel and is seeking representation and a publisher.

    Archives

    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    July 2024
    May 2024
    March 2024
    December 2023
    September 2023
    June 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015

    Categories

    All
    2015
    2016
    2017
    2018
    2019
    2020
    2021
    2022
    2023
    2024
    2025
    Advice
    AYOF
    Books
    Comics
    Democracy
    Drama
    Editing
    Election
    Employment
    Experiments
    Film
    How To Write A Book
    Last Man On Campus
    Life
    Media
    Mental Health
    Netflix
    Other
    Poetry
    Politics
    Process
    Publishing
    Reading
    Reading List
    SciFi
    Short Story
    #ShowYourWork
    Sourcing
    Television
    Thanksgiving
    The Writing Life
    Vacation
    Wife
    Workshop
    Writing

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Stories
  • Blog